Mary stood looking at the empty box for a few moments. Annie looked stricken. The Phouka, his whimpering subsided, looked angry. "The bastard took it!" I shrieked. "He stole the necklace! That tears it; I'm calling the cops."
"You can't," said the Phouka.
"Why not?" I asked.
"What will you tell them? That your boyfriend stole a necklace that belongs to the queen of the fairies? No, we'll take care of this ourselves."
"How?" Annie asked timidly.
"We'll break into his house and take it back. We'll take him too, if we can, but we have to get the necklace. The queen is counting on us," the Phouka said grimly. He looked intently at me and continued, "We can use your help. It will be dangerous, so if you don't want to do it, we'll understand. Anything you can tell us about where he goes, his habits, and his schedule will help. If you can tell us the layout of his house, too, it would be of use."
I only had to think about it for a minute. "Count me in," I said. "That jerk and his creepy friend violated me - they broke into my house. I want to get back at them. One thing I don't understand, though: why did he steal the necklace? What's so great about it? Surely the queen has better jewelry than that!"
Annie and the Phouka looked at Mary, who thought for a moment before she said,"Jack is a spriggans. It's not just his last name; it's what he is. Sprigganses are some of the most ruthless and dangerous of our kind. They delight in thieving; it doesn't matter what it is or who it belongs to - if they want it, they take it. But you are correct: the queen has more and better jewels than this necklace but it is an important piece nonetheless because it has its own magic."
"Magic? What does it do?" I asked.
"The wearer becomes immune to harm," piped in Annie, before the others could stop her.
"Let us not speak of that right now, Annie," Mary said. And then to me, "But I'm sure you can appreciate how bad it is that a spriggans now has it. We need that necklace back, child. The queen needs it and the court needs it."
We sat silently, each of us ruminating privately. Finally, the Phouka spoke again, "I'm also concerned about this Dean character. If he truly is a fir darrig, we might have more on our hands than we bargained for. They usually travel in packs and can be quite dangerous in their own right. Plus, with their shape-shifting abilities, they are often hard to detect."
"Well, there's only one way to find out," I said. "I say we wait ‘til Jack leaves and then we let ourselves into his house. Why don't we take a drive over to Jack's and see who's home?"
"Yeah!" Annie said, warming to the task. "Let's case the joint!"
"Let me guess, you watch 'Dragnet' too?" I asked.
"No, 'Perry Mason'," was the response.
As we loaded ourselves into my car, a pair of eyes watched from across the street. Once we were out of sight, the lawn gnome that was standing in a flowerbed dropped the dowsing stick he'd been holding and scampered off into the gathering darkness.
"I think someone needs to start from the beginning and tell me the whole story. I feel like I've been dropped into the middle of a really bad fairytale," I said as we drove down the freeway. I glanced over at the Phouka, who was riding shotgun. "Why don't you tell me what's going on, Horse-boy."
He shot me a wounded look that made me sorry I'd called him names, but I was getting scared and nothing conquers fear better than sarcasm. He took a deep breath and started talking. "It started about a year ago. We were planning a grand ball for the queen's birthday. In spite of being a spriggans, Jack was a favorite of the queen. He can be quite charming when he wants to be - I'm sure you know that - but, the fact is, it's all an act. He's at his most charming when he wants something. Who knows how long he'd been planning his thievery but he planned it well. The night of the party, he waited until everyone was at the ball and then, as best we can figure, he sneaked into the queen's private chambers and stole the necklace, box and all.
"As heavily guarded as the queen's chambers are, though, he had to have had help. We believe that is where the fir darrigs come in. Several royal guard uniforms were found near a portal ..."
"Portal?" I cut in.
"Yes, we use portals to get from our world to yours. Think of them as fancy doorways," explained the Phouka, as if speaking to a child.
"There's one in your hall closet now!" Mary chimed in proudly. "I put it there!"
"So he stole the necklace a year ago and you're just now getting around to getting it back?" I asked.
"Well," said Mary. "We've pretty much known all along that Jack left it with you for safekeeping. I think he was counting on us not to make direct contact with you. We usually try not to mix with folk in the mundane world. It sometimes confuses them, the poor dears."
"But what took you so long?" I persisted.
"We knew where Jack was and we knew he had the necklace. As long as we could keep track of him, we weren't worried. But when he left your house for good, we knew we had to move. He's been busy the past few months he's been in Mundania and he's amassed a great amount of wealth. But now that he's moved out on his own, he no longer needs you and we feared for your safety," said the Phouka.
Things were beginning to make more sense to me now. "So seeing you at the store yesterday morning wasn't a chance encounter, was it?" I asked Mary.
She shook her head. "No, child, that was part of the plan. I wanted to approach you directly but we didn't know if you were with Jack or not. Then when you were so kind to me - which I will never forget - I knew you couldn't be part of his scheming. I hope I didn't frighten you too much when I popped into your house, dear, but we needed a command post and I thought your house would be ideal. Plus, I wanted to keep an eye on you."
"He stole the necklace and came here to ...Mundania, you called it? ... to hide out. Well, he can't stay here forever, can he? What's his master plan? I mean, there's got to be more to it than just liking a necklace and taking it. You said it has certain powers, right? It keeps the wearer safe from harm ... so he can't be hurt." I continued my train of thought. "What does that mean for the queen then? If she's without her necklace, she's also without its protection, right?"
Their three sober faces told me all I needed to know. I pulled the car over, so I could look at Mary and Annie in the back seat. "I'll show you where Jack lives right now but I think we need to go back home and come up with a plan. I don't think we'll be able to just waltz into his house and grab the necklace off the kitchen table. If he's as sneaky as you say, and I have no problem believing he is, he'll have hidden it someplace better than his underwear drawer."
Do you have any idea, Pixie, of how many fans you have here in the unseen?
Students from far and wide. Admirers from near and far. Friends from other lands and other times. And do you know what they talk about the most when your name comes up?
Besides your French Toast?
Besides your saunter?
Besides your home here with the holiday lights you leave up year-round, the roaming wildebeests in the backyard, and the answering machine that says,"Off having the time of my life in the jungles of time and space..."
Your belief in the goodness of others.
10,000 Kisses - The Universe
Yep... Even though we don't use time here, the "Pixie Styx" Calendar is a perennial best seller.
It only took a moment to find the box. I had stuffed it in the back of my underwear drawer. I don't know how Jack and Dean could have missed it. That's the first place I'd look, if I was a thief. I grabbed it and took it downstairs. "It's hard to open. The lid sticks or something. Jack always opened it for me before. Maybe you'll have better luck."
The box was about six by four by four inches, with ornate carvings on the lid and sides. The lid featured a gripping beast, a gryphon perhaps, in an oval that was surrounded by strange figures. The wood was cracked in places and gave off a faint spicy aroma. The hinges appeared to be made of leather, which was in remarkably good condition. There wasn't a latch but the box was closed up tight.
Annie sucked in her breath with a hiss. "The box is very special. It was made hundreds of years ago by the same dwarves who made the necklace. You've heard of the Brisingamen, yes? Freyja's famous necklace of amber? Well, this one is the companion necklace and it belongs to our queen. The dwarves put a special magic on the box and it only opens when you say the right words. Up until Jack stole it, we thought the queen was the only other one who knew the words."
"What are the symbols on the top? Could they be the words?" I asked.
Mary looked at the box and snorted. "No, child, those are the initials of the dwarves who made the necklace, the conceited things. This one, that looks like a small 't' with a crooked cross, is Nordhi's symbol. It's called nauthiz, which represents the innovation that comes from a need. A more inventive fellow you'll never meet, that Nordhi. The next one is Surdi's mark, sowilo. It's the one that looks like a straight line 's', or a lightning bolt. Sowilo is for inner knowing. Surdi, he's a smart one. Vestri's mark is next; the pointy 'p'. His is wunjo, which represents joy, and it suits Vestri. He's such a happy fellow ... for a dwarf, leastwise. Last is Estri and his horse rune, ehwaz - like a capital 'm'. Estri is the ringleader of the four, a born leader and organizer, and a special friend of the Phouka.
"They made the Brisingamen first and I'm sure you know the story of that particular necklace and the dwarves' ... erm ... transaction with Freyja for it. Well, the dwarves thought they might have the same luck a second time. They were wrong, but the queen's necklace proved beneficial for them anyhow.
"You see, the land of the dwarves is located in the mountains that divide the two fairy realms - Seelie from Unseelie. The Unseelie have been massing an army for the past couple of years. They've historically been the weaker court but they've been gaining strength lately and they need all the metal they can get their hands on. They've been ransacking the mountains for ore and stealing the dwarves' livelihood in the process. The dwarves gave the necklace to the queen of the Seelie - our queen - in exchange for her protection. Our Phouka here was instrumental in the negotiations." Mary beamed at the Phouka. "The queen would have her necklace back and also the miscreant who dared steal it. We're here to do just that."
I looked at them and laughed in disbelief. The queen of the fairies sent a tiny spoon-wielding bag lady, a toad, and a man-horse to look for a thief and and his dangerous friend? "You've got to be kidding," I said. "How are you going to do that? You've got the box but you don't know the words to open it. Do you?"
The other three looked at each other. "Phouka, would you try opening it?" asked Mary.
The Phouka took the box from me and rubbed his hands down his pants, as if he was nervous. He cracked his knuckles, muttered something under his breath, and pulled on the lid. Suddenly, his body went rigid and the box went flying from his hands, cracking against the far wall. The Phouka fell to the floor, howling and writhing in pain. Mary tapped him a couple of times with her spoon and he went limp, laying on his side and panting.
"What just happened?" I asked.
"Phouka got a shock because he tried to open the box without using the right words. It's a good thing you never tried to open it, child; I'm not sure you would have survived," Mary replied. She gave the Phouka one last tap with her spoon and bent to retrieve the box.
It had popped open, revealing a brown velvet interior that was flattened in places from the weight of the necklace. It was also empty.
It took me longer to re-fold clothes and put my dresser back together than it did to take inventory. In truth, I don't have much of value: a pair of earrings that were once watch fobs of my great-grandparents, which I inherited from my grandmother, and my father's wedding band. That's about it as far as jewelry goes. I have lots of family silver in other parts of the house but Jack and Dean seemed mainly focused on my bedroom, if the condition of my dresser and closet were any indication. I still had no idea what they were after.
As I descended the stairs, I could hear Mary's voice coming from the hall closet. She wasn't alone. I could hear whispered voices, which trailed off when I neared the door. The last thing I heard sounded like, "But does she know ..."
I was about to butt in and ask Mary what they were talking about when I heard noises coming from the bathroom. It was a clopping sound, like hooves. In the bathroom? Without knocking, I barged in just in time to see the hind end of a horse disappear behind the shower curtain. The water was turned on and the horse emitted a deep sigh as steam began to fill the room. "Mary!" I ran into the hallway. "Mary! There's a horse in the shower."
"Yes, dear," Mary said calmly.
I pointed a shaking finger toward the bathroom. "No, you don't understand. There's a horse. In the bathroom. Taking a shower."
"Yes, that'd be the Phouka. My, but he loves his showers. Now come into the living room, if you please. We've got company!" said Mary.
Annie was just as short as Mary but squattier. She had a wide face with large eyes and a mouth that nearly reached ear to ear. She looked exactly like a toad in a wig. I remembered what Mary said earlier about Annie being green and caught myself before I laughed out loud. "I'd like you to meet my dearest friend, Anura Bufonid - Annie for short. She and the Phouka are going to help us with our little problem. Now tell us about Jack Spriggans. Start from the beginning and don't leave anything out."
So I sat down and began telling the two little women all about my recent love life. Mary fetched a tea tray and began dispensing cups of hot tea and plates of fragrant, crumbly little cakes.
"I met Jack about a year ago. Some friends thought it would be fun to go to a local gothic nightclub called Club Dead. They have special events scheduled around the phases of the moon. The most popular are the Dark Moon parties. They can get pretty wild. The night we went, a woman went a little bit crazy and ran off. No one's really sure what happened to her but I heard she was found stumbling around in the park the next morning.
"Anyhow, that's where I met Jack. He and Dean were there shooting pool and they invited me and my friends to play with them. At first, Jack seemed interested in another girl but, when her boyfriend showed up, he turned his attention on me. I have to say, Jack's really not my type. I don't usually go for guys who spend more time at the mirror than I do but, he was so charming that night, I gave him my phone number and asked him to call me. We had sort of a whirlwind romance and he ended up moving in with me a month or so after we met.
"At first all Jack had were a few pieces of clothing. He said he'd just moved here from out of state and was making a fresh start. He eventually got a car and, after that, he wasn't around much, except to drop off his new clothes or the latest toy he'd purchased. He spent quite a bit of time at work ... although I'm not exactly sure what he does for a living. He said acquisitions or procurement, something like that. When he was here for any length of time, his friend Dean was usually with him. At the end, he was more of a room mate than a boyfriend."
Mary leaned toward Annie and whispered, "Dean is the fir darrig I told you about."
"Did he ever give you anything? Any sort of gift?" Annie asked, blinking her bulbous eyes. Her tongue flicked out to lick a crumb off the back of her hand.
"Jack?" I snorted. "No. Jack was more into receiving gifts than giving them. You two seem to know more about Jack and Dean than you should. Why is that?"
At that moment, the bathroom door opened. Steam billowed out, along with the smell of wet dog. I wrinkled my nose and then dropped my jaw as the handsomest, nakedest man I'd even seen walked out. He was tall and well muscled, with the nicest schlaben sie nobben I'd ever laid eyes on - and I'm a connoisseur. His eyes were so dark they looked black. His hair was jet black with a white streak just at the middle. On another man it might have looked silly; on him, the imperfection was perfection. I noticed he hadn't toweled off.
"Wow ... um ..." I stammered. "I was expecting a horse, not a ... man."
I managed to maintain eye contact during the introductions but then I just had to dress him. I couldn't stay focused on the conversation - the effort it took to not stare at his beautiful nakedness was overwhelming - and Mary kept asking if I was unwell. Jack had left some clothes behind and, while the pants were too short for the Phouka, at least they were pants. My focus returned and Mary gave the Phouka a condensed version of what had happened. She downplayed the fact that Jack had been my boyfriend.
"Did he ever give you anything?" asked the Phouka.
"No, Mary already asked me ... wait a minute!" I said. "He did give me something. He said it was a family heirloom, that it belonged to his dear departed mother ... It's hideous, though. I can't think he'd want it back. I don't even think it's worth all that much."
The others exchanged glances.
"I've never worn it in public. It's not really my style. I'm not even sure where I put it. It's just this old necklace made of big chunks of what looks like amber. Honestly, the box it came in is more interesting."
The Phouka asked softly, "Can you fetch it for us, please?"
